yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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