STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
