Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
its liver damage thursday
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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