he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
