We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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