He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
