I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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