I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
