Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
