Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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