i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
