can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize