He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
