My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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