Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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