You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
