I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
