girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
