its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
