I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
