There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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