I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Houston, we have a squirter
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
