Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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