i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
