I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
