He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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