last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am available for nakedness
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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