Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
