She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
