true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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