susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
