she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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