nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
