Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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