love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
