he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
