Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
