I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
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It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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