We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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