R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
