My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize