Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
