Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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