p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Found your dick twin last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
