sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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