so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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