So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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