Don't make out with my wife yet
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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