I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
