i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drunk is not a location!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
