and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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