People in love make me want to vomit
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
