You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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