so that wasnt chicken after all
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
