Do you still have your period?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
