Dual....:-)
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
