i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
zippers are such a cool invention
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
