I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
