I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
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And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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