So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
