So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
