So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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