i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
