normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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