1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
