im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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