So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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