OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
