so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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