i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
