She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
