Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
