He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize