Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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