yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
